It’s been a while I wrote something here. A lot has happened in my life over the past couple of months and I just give glory to God that I am still standing. I want to dwell into very sensitive topics that I know people all over the world want to read and learn more about but never want to talk. The topic for today is abuse whether sexual, physical or verbal. First I will try to get into the mind of the abuser; there are various explanations why people abuse others, one is that they were abused themselves, another is low self esteem, another is anger, bitterness, hatred, mental illness etc. As for me I cannot fathom the reason why people abuse others, however I can say almost everyone is abusive! People believe sexual and physical abuse are the worse type of abuse and everyone ignores verbal abuse. Calling someone derogatory names and hurtful names are also ways of verbal abuse so I ask before you judge the sexual abuser and physical abuser is there anyone that can boldly step forward and say they have not cursed someone out as some point in their lives?

Now to the mind of the person being abused. What exactly makes people stay in an abusive relationship and some even end up being killed by the abuser?

All that keeps coming to my mind is loving oneself.  If you dont love yourself you will tolerate however terrible way people show love to you and even inflict pain on others as an abuser. The commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves is HUGE!!! If you dont love yourself you cant love others its as simple as that and you end up being an abuser or a victim of abuse.

 

I GIVE UP!

I woke up this morning with Shola Ama’s song “I still believe”- “Ive been told a million lies, I’ve been left alone with a broken heart but I still believe in love”…. Right now thats how I feel. There are many liars, cheats and everything! You name them but there are still nice people out there. I cant judge people for giving up on love but being lied and cheat on is not a good reason. Love and marriage are ordained by God. God Himself showed us the ultimate example of love by sending his only begotten son Jesus Christ to die for our sins.  If Jesus had looked at the way He was treated, He wont go ahead and still die for our sins. They lied against him, betrayed Him, cheated Him, humiliated Him! So I ask what have you gone through that you want to give up on love. What to do is stop going to the same wrong place to find a mate. Renew your mind first, work on your self-confidence, keep doing good and the right person will come.  You attract what you are like. So whether the person is an abuser, liar or cheat, it has a huge impact on the way you are.  What attracts you is what you respect. This is why it is essential to renew yourself first before finding love.

wow!!!! Its been a while I posted something here, I guess I’ve been busy with everything life has to give us.  I’ve learnt a lot in life and I’ve come to the conclusion that no one really loves you but God and yourself.  Isaiah 49:15 says “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Which means even a mother who has so much attachment to her child will still care about herself than her child. Therefore, never rely on any man for anything because you will only be extremely disappointed. I had to learn the hard way but thank God I’ve learned. God is the only one that will never fail or disappoint

WHO ARE YOU

The bible says love your neighbor as you love yourself. This means that if you don’t love yourself you cannot love your neighbor because there is really no love to give to your neighbor.  It is important that we as men and women really need to know ourselves, love ourselves before we think of complicating and interfering with another person’s life.  You really to know who you are in Christ before considering going into any kind of relationship.  Also, if you know who you are in Christ there will be many things you won’t take from anyone.  As Royalty, you cannot afford to be treated like trash, a prince is never stood up, disrespected, unappreciated or undervalued.  Once you can see yourself as part of God’s Royal family, you have reached a place that you truly know who you are. I look at myself as the daughter of the Most High God. Any man I meet I know for sure I am an asset to his life and if he cannot step up to me then that’s his loss. I will never cry over spilled milk or let a man destroy me emotionally. I am too precious to God to let a man destroy me.  Therefore, folks, know yourselves very well, love yourself unconditionally before you decide to go out there to “love” someone

HIS LAST WORDS

His last words were “You will never find anyone else like me” Who said I want to find anyone like you. You were selfish, insensitive, ungrateful, disrespectful, arrogant- these were the response my dear friend gave to her ex-boyfriend.  It was pretty hilarious to me but I can definitely see where she is coming from.  Some men think once they leave a woman that is the end of the woman’s life. Oh Pls! In life men need to know that they are not irreplaceable so maybe that will make them act right because guess what guys while you SCREAM at your woman,there’s a man wishing he could talk softly in her ear…while you HUMILIATE,OFFEND and INSULT her,there’s a man flirting with her reminding her how wonderful and beautiful she is.while you HURT her,there’s a man wishing he could comfort her.while you make your woman CRY there’s a man stealing smiles from her. Who are you that you think you are God’s gift to women. You better guess again.  Act right!! Love your women as Christ loves the church.

Forgive and Forget- Is that Possible?

Good morning people.

I woke up this morning with a very annoying message from someone that wronged me to the core.  It hurts the more every time I hear from the person. Its like the person has no remorse for what the person did and to make matters worse the person blames me for it. How ridiculous is that?  However, I started thinking that I have clearly forgiven this person I believe so why am I still upset the person has no remorse. Why do I keep remembering what the person did anytime I hear the person’s voice or even hear the person’s name. I figured that maybe I haven’t forgiven the person or perhaps I have forgiven but haven’t forgotten. As a child of God, it is important to follow Christ’s example. His word says” when we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse our righteousness” but what do you do when the person doesn’t even confess or even think they did anything wrong.  When you wrong someone is it really the person’s fault if they are mad at you? Isn’t it up to you to try to mend the relationship? Unfortunately this is not how people are.  They wrong you but still justify their actions and even blame you for it. What then can you do as a Christian? Does the bible really talk about forgiving and forgetting? I have searched the scriptures intensely and it talks about forgiveness but only mentions that God forgives and forgets our sins. Does this mean that Humans do not have the capability of forgiving and forgetting? With all this said, after a deep understanding of the issue of forgiveness, I believe it is possible to forgive and forget.  Forgetting is not necessarily having the issue blotted out of our memories because after all, the Almighty God who has the best memory will not  have our sins blotted out but He doesn’t use our sins against us like the Accuser- Satan.  Therefore, once we are sorry for our sins, He accepts us back and doesn’t use our sins to judge or relate with us.  However, sinners that don’t repent will go to the lake of fire with the devil.  This brings me back to my question? Do you forgive even when the person doesn’t genuinely ask for forgiveness? Should you “cast the person into the lake of fire” like sinners that don’t repent? Unfortunately I have no answer to these questions.  All I know is that forgiveness for humans is a thing you do for yourself not for the other party.  Unforgiveness is like a cancer or virus that will continue to spread if it is not removed.  Therefore, forgiveness is important. Can you forget too? Yes. You might have the mental recollection but you won’t feel somehow when you hear the person’s voice or even name like me.  You don’t even have to remain friends with the person but your mind is free towards that person.  This is really what I need to do- FORGIVE and FORGET…. So Help Me Lord

STOP PRAISING BOYFRIENDS

I saw a very interesting facebook post today that really got my attention- “Ladies a man has done nothing for you until he walks you down the aisle. Stop praising boyfriends!!” At first I laughed and thought to myself that is kind of harsh but as I pondered on the statement, I realized there is an element of truth in it.  Ladies date men for many years, do all they can for the man but the men just date them till eternity till the lady is tired and has to leave him when she finally realizes he is not going to make her his wife. Ladies are so deeply in love that they put up comments about how they have the best man in the world, they put up beautiful pictures of them together and are just head over heels in love with the man.  My question to these women is “if their boyfriends feel the same way” Does he put up your picture on his facebook? Does he put up your picture on his blackberry messenger? Does he write beautiful statuses about how wonderful you are? If the answer to these questions is No, then there is a big problem. Have you stopped to think that maybe its time to stop praising these so-called boyfriends, get real and move on with your life.  Another problem I have with these guys is that really when you’ve gotten to a stage that you have a job, education and everything is going right what is really stopping you from putting a ring on her finger if you love her so much. She or her family members don’t have to push you before you decide to make her your wife. I have no problems with you dating someone and not marry the person because afterall things happen. But its very wrong to string a woman along when you know deep down in your heart you have no intention of getting married to her.  Women on the other hand too need to be wiser. Protect yourself, Protect your body because after all why does he have to pay for the cow when he gets the milk for free. Respect yourself, have a little pride and dignity.  Think with your head and not with your emotions.

Therefore, my rule and advise to women is that once a relationship is over two years old, if the man is not talking about settling down or even proposing to you to be his wife then he doesn’t love you enough and its time for you to step away instead of wasting time and end up stepping away when the breakup will be more damaging to you.  If a man doesn’t talk to you about settling down after two years of dating then you need to leave him.  I’ve met many women that have complained about how hurt they are when their ex-boyfriends that they dated for many years finds another woman and decides to marry that woman in no time.  What women don’t know is that a man knows exactly what he wants from a woman the first day he meets her.  If he wants to marry you, he knows, if he wants to “use” you he knows.  So it shouldn’t be surprising if he finds someone else and marries that person, the truth is that he just wasn’t really that into you. So women be alert and wise.  I’m not saying the man has to tell you he wants to marry you the first day he meets you because men are different but if two years into the relationship he doesn’t say anything? chances are that he is not that into you. So do something for yourself, wake up from your fantasy world and move on.

Sorry if this blog is harsh to men or women but the truth is I’m tired of women complaining about their boyfriends of many years not trying to marry them. Don’t manipulate him into getting married to you, if he wants to marry you, you really don’t need to push him, he will make all the pushes. If he doesn’t then maybe perhaps he doesn’t want to marry you  so move on and stop pushing unnatural things. Its either you leave him or stop complaining or getting mad when you end up alone, damaged and broken.  Men on the other hand need to stop being cowards, if you are not into her, tell her, be a man and leave her alone.  Don’t be a greedy thief, stop eating another man’s fruit.  It is better to be hurt when things are still fresh rather than when you are both attached to each other and everyone knows you guys with each other but deep down you have no intention of making her your wife.  That in and out of itself is wrong and unacceptable.

All in all I am not against long-term relationships and I think its sweet when they actually end up in marriage. So men and women do whatever works for you but please try to be fair to the feelings of others.

 

ps: I always try to be fair so my next blog will be about women….. Watch Out.

I MISS YOU……

I sit here wondering why God took you away and left me so much pain and sorrow
And since you’ve been gone I pray to him and ask him for a better tomorrow
But its so hard to hide what I truly feel
I just have to accept the fact that this is real
I ask him why he had to take you
But it seems I get no answer, I still have no clue
Like you once told me, We will all die one day but you didn’t have to leave so soon.
I guess you were right all along, I’d have to agree
I now realize life isn’t always how we expect it to be
Things happen for a reason, but why does this happen to me
Now I’m only left with these memories of you in my heart
You’re in heaven now which means we’re farther apart
But even though I will never break the promise we once made
You don’t have to worry, you will never feel betrayed
I will always remember you for the rest of my life if I may
Or until that day comes for me on judgment day
You’re in a better place now away from so much hurt and pain
But just know that a part of you in me will always remain
But still to this point I can’t believe you’re gone and still don’t understand why?
I guess its just too hard to let you go but I have no other choice but to say Goodbye!

Tribute to Mayowa: September 4, 1983- June 5, 2004

Mayowa though you are not here with me anymore, you will
forever be in my heart. I’ll never forget you and I hope I
never disappoint you, I’ll try my best not to. I love you so
much and your death is not going to stop me from loving you.
Your death was a shock to me a shock I’ll never recover
from.
We were so close, more like twins
I wish you could have lived longer
At least to see your baby sister turn eighteen
But its not so, though I know your dead physically, You will
always be alive in my heart.
Everyday I think of the old times we shared
And I’m even happier because I know you are resting with the
Lord in heaven and now can watch over me which is what you’ve always wanted. The 13th day of January 2004 was the last day I
saw him and the 3rd of June 2004 was the last day I spoke to him
All I know is that one day we will be together never to part no
more. We will reign together with Christ who is the Lord and
Savior of all things. Thank you very much Mayowa for
everything, for always being there for me. I love you and
will always love you. RIP Brother sleep peacefully with the
Lord.
I miss you.

Are you using money or is Money using You!!!

So I logged on facebook this morning and one of my friends had the status “Are you using money or is money using you! think about it” This really got to me and I started thinking many of us have money but we are really slaves to money.  God knows how important and powerful money is which is why I found it interesting that there are over 250 bible verses talking about money.  Ecclesiastes 10:19 says “A feast is made for laughter, and wine makes life merry, but money is the answer for everything”. I Timothy 6:10 on the other hand says “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs”. So the question people keep asking is that if money answers all things isn’t it normal to love something that can answer everything? This is where the devil gets to people. Money is very essential to our every need and daily life but when you love something without the love of Christ it becomes your slave.  The love of money can be linked to any relationship. If a relationship doesn’t have a Godly foundation and two people just love each other out of their fleshy desires, they become slaves to love. Most people are not actually ‘in love’ with their partners but actually ‘in love’ with the whole concept of ‘Love’. They end up finding the same type of men or women and their relationships never work out. As a slave, if you dont have freedom you will always have to belong to a master. The same way with money. Money is like any other relationship, if God is not the center of your love, you become a slave to anything you love more than God or without the love of God. You dont end up using money but money ends up using you because it has a rightful ground after all you are its slave.  You wonder why some people no matter how much money they have, they can never be happy, satisfied and fulfilled, why because no matter what a slave has, everything the slave has belongs to the master because the master owns the slave.  So today, make a decision whether you want to be in slavery or be free. Give God your ultimate love and receive your freedom today.